stevenschwartz Forum Posts

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Tue Jan 6, 2009 9:44 AM CST : ( only for LADY"S ) >> If I ask you for dating Me what you will do ??
No. Because you look like a FREAK!


( only for LADY"S ) >> If I ask you for dating Me what you will do ??: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:20 AM CST : 12 Days of Christmas
On the 1st day of Christmas my ex did say to me "You're a complete and utter tool"
On the 2nd day of Christmas my ex did say to me "Stop wearing my clothes"
On the 3rd day of Christmas my ex did say to me "Stop abusing my mother"
On the 4th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "Boil your head in a pan"
FIVE STONE GAINED
On the 6th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "I reached my target weight of 23 stone, 6 ounces and half a pound of lard"
On the 7th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "YOU'RE A FUCKING TWAT"
On the 8th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "I've changed the locks"
On the 9th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "I've slept with your friends, they're a better screw than your 2 minutes of funnnnn"
On the 10th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "I'll take the house, the car the kids and the dog"
On the 11th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "You are hopeless in bed and the last I orgasmed was in 1972"
On the 12th day of Christmas my ex did say to me "Why have you poisoned the roast dinner" THUD.



12 Days of Christmas: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:12 AM CST : Merry Christmas for everyone from Dublin....
lola36: Awww guys wish you all a Merry Christmas,just in case I am not around here....



Merry Christmas Lola. Hope Santa is good to you. And I don't mean take you round the back and give you a good stuffing.


Merry Christmas for everyone from Dublin....: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:11 AM CST : WHY ALL OF US DONT HAVE PHOTO WITH SMILE?
hollysaffron: so many "hard" photos on CS....why....we can only see photos in this community,why we dont make them better??



I think you will find I am smiling in my photo. That's cause the person that took the photo had his tackle hanging out.


WHY ALL OF US DONT HAVE PHOTO WITH SMILE?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:44 PM CST : To realise, to accept and openly apologize for your wrong doings may be a person's finest quality.
oooooh...This was an apology thread. Accepted. I apologise also, CosmicDust.


To realise, to accept and openly apologize for your wrong doings may be a person's finest quality.: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:38 AM CST : why......?
DazzleYou: All of the above


Dazzle, in your profile pics, are you wearing lip stick?


why......?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:36 AM CST : mans like more woman with blonde or black hair?
I am going to grow my beard very long, tie it up to my pubes and strum it like a harp.




mans like more woman with blonde or black hair?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:29 AM CST : What is the definition of prostitution?
I believe that if you want to find out the ins and outs of an occupation, you should speak with a professional in that career.

Therefore, to answer your query, my not e-mail my ex: -

FatWasteofSpace@MoneyGrabbingCow.co.uk

Entitle your e-mail

OI you fat bitch,

Whats it like spending your life on your back seeing more japs eyes than an oriental optician?

Yours

Cosmicdust.



What is the definition of prostitution?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:50 AM CST : Guys, Do your messages just saying "hello, call me" really work?
cardsfan24: NOBODY CARES .....troll that one post number 18 is now a screen shot

I would like to thank my fellow cs'ers for this award i would like to start with my cat who had kittens you will be spayed but i lov ya* yes i know hurry it up( and i would like to thank my new friends who have taken so much interest in me, Thank you mindyq mindyy mindyyy m&m, and yes you *StinkyTwinkie* aka Chris....your the man....rem that your theman



Are you on drugs. If not, you should be.


Guys, Do your messages just saying "hello, call me" really work?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:00 PM CST : whats the most unusual thing that you've ever seen with your own eyes ?
I have seen a kangaroo ask for directions. It wasn't through my own eyes though, but through the eyes of a patato.


whats the most unusual thing that you've ever seen with your own eyes ?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:38 PM CST : CHALLENGE: What’s the sickest kinky thing you can come up with?
PietroPaoloV: RobbieM, get in here! I bet you can come up with some sick onesStealing grandmother’s knickers which in style most likely resemble a pair of lederhosen more than panties, a used not yet washed pair, re-model them into a breast-collar & rein set, prepare by drinking loads and loads of beer, then take to the woods, strip down naked, put on the riding set, search out an anthill which you shag and then you lie there on your back the rest of the day and piss all over yourself mostly aiming for your own head.



Erm...Well, I have never had to pay for sex before - that pissed off a few prostitutes though, I can assure you.


CHALLENGE: What’s the sickest kinky thing you can come up with?: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:18 PM CST : Do you think about sex while your posting?
Mindyyy: Is there someone on this site that makes you think "sex" every time you see them?
I'm not asking you to mention names or anything.

There are a couple of guys here that I wish I could have sex with just to see if they are as cool in bed as they are on the forums. I am not the type girl to hook up just for sex but that doesn't mean I don't think about it.



Yeah, I think about sex when posting here.

I think things like "I wonder what its ACTUALLY like", "Does sex by yourself count as ACTUAL sex" and "She said it was normal for her to try things with other men".


Do you think about sex while your posting? : click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:50 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
COSMICDUST:


I KNEW YOU HAVE TO BE GAY

Hey, we can smell our own can't we?

THAT'S THE STUPIDEST CONVERSATION I EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.


LMFAO...I bet that contest is a close competition.

YOU SURE NEED A LOT OF LUCK. I ACTUALYY FEEL COMPATIN FOR YOU, RIGHT NOW.

You come anything near me with your compatin and I'll be putting it a place where they put your drugs, when you refuse to open your mouth

GOD HELP HIM, HE NEEDS IT MORE THAN ANY ONE I EVER MET.

I knew I recognised you...When I did my voluntary work with the mental home...You were they one that was getting drool wiped of your chin every 5 minutes. You thought the vase of flowers was soup...Didn't you?




Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:37 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
COSMICDUST:
Sure I'm not when I see people cross the fine line, that divides humor from stupidity.
I bet this is the story of your life, you looser.



Looser?! Hey, I resent that. My boyfriend said I was quite tight...erm...oh..I better stop there.


Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:31 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
jlw45: i thaught the reason for the contortionist would be, so he could stick his head up his arse and JUMP ...?...



Its not the sticking it up his arse that is the problem...Its getting the fecker back out. His head is huuge.


Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:29 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
Sommerauer71: Oh, no, and spoil my fun???

As far as I am concerned, Steven can take care if himself, he needs not I. Nor a wire coat hanger.

But I can give you a number of a contortionist if you like Cosmic (in capitals) , you will need one, by the time he has finished tying you up in knots.



It really is too easy.


Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:25 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
COSMICDUST:
Why don't you give STEVE wire coat hanger to help him out of his misery?



You're not well, are you?


Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:11 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
COSMICDUST: I am allergic to cats, dogs, internet weirdos, people with comical moustaches...you know...People like you.[/quote
That's all you can do in a tight situation?

Personally I think the tighter the better.

You are in deed a pussy and you don't eve know it.

I have no idea who eve is either.

Do you have other strength in life besides making a foul of your self.

A foul????? Yes, some of the things I have said here have been of, what one would call "bad taste"

Believe me my friend, you picked the wrong guy to mess with...

You're a wrong guy? Like Ladyboy? Or when you featured in that documentary "When Sex Changes go bad"

Just give it up gracefully you clown and we'll remember you as one of the three musketeers responsible with keeping out the flies or sucking milk straight from the cow or the sheep.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND MILK???? PERVERT!




Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:53 AM CST : Things that irritate you...
pretzelman: If you don't love jesus and give your life to HIM...your dick is going to fall off!!!

Irritated yet???



Thats EXACTLY what my priest said to me...He also told me that Jesus was inside him...So I had to put my willy inside him to feel Jesus.

One thing led to another and the next thing he was muttering about cleaning myself in the holy water to get rid of the evidence. If God knows everything, then he would of known I scrubbed my bits in the holy water.

Sister Olaf did think it tasted a bit funny a couple of days later. APPARENTLY, I wasn't even allowed to mention my "encounter" with God to her either. Or the police. ODD.


Things that irritate you...: click here to read the entire thread »

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StevenSchwartz Lockerbie, Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:38 AM CST : can love still be found on internet
kirkhill: can that special person be found on line



I met my girlfriend on the internet...When I met her it turns out she was a 17 year old boy who was a cripple.


I'll be honest, the sex was disappointing.


can love still be found on internet: click here to read the entire thread »

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