Connecting Singles^® Forums 100% Free Online Dating

Hi


Hello friends .: click here to read the entire thread »

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the Most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:


4th Place

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.


3rd Place

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled 'SURPRISE'. My entire family parents, grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.


2nd Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally Got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, 'Price check for Tampax supersize.'
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood word 'Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks' , and replied in a business like tone, his
voice booming over the same public address system: 'Do you want the kind
you push in with your thumb or the kind one you belt in with a hammer.


1st Place .
And the winner is . . ..

This happened at a major Australian University , during a biology lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand you correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?' The professor responded, yes, that's correct adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word, walked out of the class. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question. 'It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat'.





Embarrassing moments: click here to read the entire thread »

Kissin' not boppin' how could you be so mean to little field mice?




when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

Just for you Crosstown

Sesame Street

Silly Squirrel Dance
Got a brand new dance that I'm nuts about
(A new dance that she's nuts about)
Well, first you suck your cheeks in
Then ya puff 'em out
(Suck in your cheeks; then ya puff 'em out)

Raise one hand, then the other
Like you're climbin' a tree
Yeah, pretend that you're a squirrel
It's the thing to be!
Come on and take a chance
And do a Silly Squirrel Dance with me!
(Squirrel Dance with me!)

Now give your tail a shake
And then you shout "Yahoo!"
(Shake it, baby, and shout "Yahoo!")
Hey, if you don't have a tail
Then your leg will do
(Don't need a tail, your leg will do!)

Now hop on one foot
Then collapse on the floor
Come on, everybody, whatcha waitin' for?
It's time to take a chance
And do a Silly Squirrel Dance with me!
(Squirrel Dance with me!)

While you're lyin' on your back
Start to rub your tummy
This dance'll make you happy
When you're feelin' crummy

Stick your thumbs in your ears
And wiggle your fingers and shout:
"The Squirrelles are our favorite singers!"

Thank you!

Now our dance is nearly done
There's not much left to do
(There's really not much left to do)
Except to get back on your feet
And take a bow or two!
(Back on your feet and take a bow or two!)

We had such a good time
We don't wanna stop!
So, once again, let's rub and puff
And climb and hop!
Come on and take a chance
And do a Silly Squirrel Dance with me!
(Take a chance and do a Silly Squirrel Dance!)

Come on and take a chance
And do a Silly Squirrel Dance with me!
(Squirrel Dance with me!)

Take a chance
(And do a Silly Squirrel Dance!)
Come on and take a chance
(And do a Silly Squirrel Dance!)
Come on and take a chance
(And do a Silly Squirrel Dance!)

(repeat and fade)





when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi


Hi to everyoneeeeee!: click here to read the entire thread »

You should be as long as you hide your nuts!!


when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

Quick hide!!!


when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

See told you she's not really nice

























when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

For Pilipala and Brian the cat

Tom Jones

What's New Pussycat
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
Pussycat, Pussycat
I've got flowers
And lots of hours
To spend with you.
So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat nose!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat
You're so thrilling
And I'm so willing
To care for you.
[ Jones Tom Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
So go and make up your cute little pussycat face!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat face!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat
You're delicious
And if my wishes
Can all come true
I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat lips!
You and your pussycat eyes!
You and your pussycat nose!






when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

Ahhh Pilipala thats soooo nice and the same goes to you my friend



























Hang on Mairs being nice!!! Scarey!!!!


when laying in my bath: click here to read the entire thread »

Brilliant


Lawyers: click here to read the entire thread »

My friend has let me down for a girlie night and everyone else is busy......so now I have no-one to go out with tomorrow night


Say Something...Names Are Changed To Protect The Innocent: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi!


Not able to find a connection with a nice lady.: click here to read the entire thread »

You can't wake everyone up then take a nap!! WAKE UP


WAKE UP! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! IT LONELY IN HERE AND YOUR SNORING TO LOUD!: click here to read the entire thread »

WAKE UP! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! IT LONELY IN HERE AND YOUR SNORING TO LOUD!: click here to read the entire thread »

Hope you both have very happy birthdays!!





Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to me: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi Claire

My Mam has just lent me this book haven't started it yet.

Know what happens though because she told me


Book Reports Are Due!: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi!


Hi everyone, my name is Anthony: click here to read the entire thread »

I don't wanna miss a thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
When, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and
thank God we're together
I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
and I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
I Feel your heart so close to mine
And we'll stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah YEAHHHH!!

I Don't wanna close my eyes
I Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
I Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
And I don't wanna miss a thing


Using Song Lyrics: click here to read the entire thread »