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JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
A few years ago I had arranged to pick up a mate of a mate named Ian for the football. I arrived outside his house and called him. He told me to come in and wait as he wasnt quite ready, I asked which house it was I hadnt been in it before.

The house on the right was the reply, so I entered the one on the right, walked into the living room, sat my arse down, got the sky remote out and stared channel hopping. A minute later, a lady in a housecoat enters the room, "thats obviously Ians mum" I thought and said to her that Ian told me to come in and wait to which she said "no probs". She then sat down in the other chair, phoned her pal and was telling her about what happened at her recent doctors appointment and graphically explained what went on.

3 minutes later, my mobile goes and its Ian asking me where I am....."In your living room waiting on you!" I says.

"You aint in my living room".........I looked out of the window and there was Ian waiting by my car!

He meant for me to go into the house on his right as he looked out onto the street and I walked into the house on my right as I looked at the row of houses.

It turns out that the lady who I had been in the room with was married to a guy called Ian as well and he was upstairs sleeping off a hangover!

Talk about a red neck! The same lady served me at the chip shop the following night and told everyone in the queue what I had done.


most embarrasing moment ever: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Mr T - Terence

(or is that common knowledge?)


ODD NAMES?: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Fave Live Band - Green Day
Fave 'CD' Band - Stone Roses
Fave Tune - Dont Stop Believin (Journey)

Fave Singer - Neil Finn (Crowded House)


Whats Ur Fav.....: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Just to clarify that my first reply in this thread was to the OP. I thought that would have been obvious.

As for me having issues........yep, I gotta few but certainly none that I would bring to the interweb. laugh


what a f* waste of time this site is: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
I may be wrong here but surely the only way you'll know if he is on CS straight away is for you to log on as well?


meeting advice: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Fuck off then. Leave the toys where they are.

Why is you find the site as bad? Is it because you're too much of a tosser and no one wants to talk to you?


what a f* waste of time this site is: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
The Talking Clock

2 guys arrive home after a night out. The pal asks the guy that lives there "What time is it?"

"Watch this, I'll use my talking clock to let you know."

"Bollocks, you have not got a talking clock!"

"Observe!" And at that point he picks up a hammer and smashes it into a massive bong thats hanging in the hallway.

"FOR FUCK SAKE!!" is screamed from through the wall "ITS HALF TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!"



The Talking Dog

A dog walks into a pub and orders a pint. The barman serves him the pint and says "We have'nt had many talking dogs in here before"

Dog replies "I'm new to the area and I'm looking for work if you know of anywhere?"

Barman: "Try the circus across the road"

Dog: "What the fuck would a circus do with a kitchen fitter?!"


The Operation

A man wakes up in hospital after having an operation.

"Doctor!! Doctor!! I cant feel my legs!!"

Doctor: "Thats coz we amputated your arms"


Post me your most favourite JOKE.: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
No, they were both performing at the Appollo one night and when Jimmy introduced Alan, he said that they were not related.

Thats if I remember correctly!


Who is the best british comedian ?: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Its got to be the Big Yin for me.

I'm surprised that the 2 Carrs, Alan and Jimmy have'nt been mentioned either.


Who is the best british comedian ?: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
I dated a Canadian student for a wee while last year. I found her to be great company and a great companion.

Unfortunately had to split because of her studies and my job but I would have no hesitation in dating a Canadian lass again.


Canadians: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Move to Scotland!!

Replace the sun cream with an umbrella though!


American Girl Looking For Love In the UK: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Apologies, I see in your statement that you were only stating your own personal view. I shouldnt be trying to stir a debate.


Assisted Suicide/Euthanasia-What's Your View?.: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
tinaferrara: i agree with what you all say,but for me,feel that god decides,when our no is up


God decides who gets murdered?!

God decides who dies in a car accident?!

God decides who catches terminal illnesses?!

God decides who gets given the wrong medication and suffers a fatal reaction?!

I could continue on like this but I'll end it there, no need for additions I think.


Assisted Suicide/Euthanasia-What's Your View?.: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
no1brightongirl: i wouldnt assist,but if the person and only the person,wanted to end it,then i think their wishes should be respected


Could not agree more.

If I ended up in a 'vegetable' state after an accident, (Heaven Forbid, touch wood etc), I am one million percent positive that I would rather be dead. I would much rather people to remember the fit (ish), healthy, active person that I am the now rather than their memories to be picturing me sitting there helpless needing someone to spoon feed me and wipe my arse etc. I would also hate to be that burden on someones elses life and effectively ruin theirs as well while I'm still living.

There was a touching episode on the show "Scrubs' where the doctor informed a woman that she would have to go a dialysis machine as her treatment wasnt working to which she replied she didnt HAVE to and was ready to die as she had lived her life.

If someone wants to die with dignity rather than waste away over the years and have their loved ones watch them waste away, their wishes should be respected. 100%.


Assisted Suicide/Euthanasia-What's Your View?.: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
People who dont use indicators and especially people who sit in the middle and outside lanes on the motorway when theres no one in the inside of them. Its called an OVERTAKING lane, not the fast lane. One of the first rules of the road is 'keep left'. Whats so difficult to remember about that?

I once read somewhere that there is something like 1,000 miles (I might be way off with that figure though, it was a while ago) of unused motorway in Britain because some people go to the outside lane and stay there. Yesterday, I wa driving on the M8 up here heading for Edinburgh from where I live, its a 2 lane motorway at this particular stretch and there was easily half a mile both in front of me and behind with no cars in the left lane and the outside lane was nose to tail. I stayed at a steady 70 (ish!) and undertook about 22 cars. When I got in front of these cars, only 3 had pulled in.

Does my titties in!!


LET OFF STEAM!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
What is the point in having a King and/or Queen anyway?




A Catholic King/Queen : click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Perhaps Ladies Man isnt living up to his name and is looking for excuses?! lol


~~~ Do all women want long-term relationships ~~~: click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Interesting thread.

I would be curious to see how the people of Scotland (mainly the men) react to this idea. As everyone knows, bigotry is Scotlands shame.

The two big football clubs in Glasgow are only the stature they are today because of these out-dated religious beliefs that continue to get drummed into youngsters who then carry those beliefs into adulthood who in turn complete the cycle by drumming these beliefs into the youngsters when they are adults.

I dont want to take focus of the thread away from the original post, like I say, I would be interested to see how the idea gets received up here. Especially in the West Coast.


A Catholic King/Queen : click here to read the entire thread »

JamesPond West Lothian, Lothian, Scotland UK
Tony Soprano.

All he ever did (when he wasnt killing) was eating, drinking and hanging around in strip joints!laugh

Plus I fancied the shrink!


If you were a character in a tv show...: click here to read the entire thread »







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